Ramblings, Ravings, and Blaming You
by Enigmaforum
Summary: Three in the morning. I should be sleeping but instead I'm up because of you. I blame you for this random bought of insomnia. In fact I blame you for a lot of things. But most of all I blame you for making me love you so freaking much that it hurts.


**Disclaimer: Mmmk if I owned Camp Rock that would mean that I own Disney. If I owned Disney then I would have access to the Jonas Brothers and would not be a poor college student. As of now I don't have access to the Jonas Brothers nor am I insanely rich. So the only thing I own is the idea for this story.**

**AN: So this story is different for me. One because this is a Naitlyn one-shot and well because it's a shot at some humor in there. So yeah, different. It really is and I really hope that you enjoy it. I know I had a blast writing it and I hope that this shows. **

**I dedicate the inspiration for this to the amazing author MyStateofMind. Now I'm sure you all have read her amazing, phenomenal, sheer genius stories by now but for those of you haven't please do so after reading this. I got this fic idea after reading one of her own, it's in her McFly Shuffle series, third one-shot. So credit and props to her for inspiring this. And a huge thank you to her for giving her blessing me writing this. I do hope she reads and enjoys this. :) **

**Warning this fic is a strong T. Strong because it mentions a sexual situation. Though I do hope you give this a shot. But you have been warned. **

XXXXXXXXXX

**To: **Nate Thompson

**From: **Caitlyn Gellar

**Subject: **Three in the morning and I'm up because of YOU

My dearest Nathanial/Natey/Natykins/Nate,

I'm writing this at THREE in the morning when I SHOULD be SLEEPING because I have a BIG day in the studio with Mitchie tomorrow. Now before you decide to lecture me like I know you want to you should know that YOU are the reason I'm not sleeping. And before you even start I ORDER you to STOP with the guilt trip you're going to want to send yourself on as you're reading this. Why am I ordering you stop? Because I hate it when you feel guilty, you being guilty leads to you brooding and then you brooding leads to Shane being moody, which then leads to him missing Mitchie even more than he already does, which then leads to Mitchie being sad because she misses Shane and I can't have her sad in the studio. It's ok when we're recording SAD songs there but tomorrow we're actually doing HAPPY songs and I need her happy. So please don't be guilty and please don't be broody because it's just a very bad cycle to start. I also just hate it when you're guilty over something that you can't help. It makes me sad and you don't want to make me sad now do you? *Is currently making the pouty face that I know you can't resist*

So pleeeease be happy, no guilt, and if you try to hide the fact that you are guilty I WILL find out. Don't ask me how, I have my ways, but I will find out and then you will not be a happy band member mmk?

Wow, I've just spent almost five minutes ordering you not to be guilty about this email when I know you're not going to listen to me anyways. How lame am I? Don't you dare answer that Nathanial because I will be forced to make you sleep on the couch for a week when you finally return from where you're at and I know you really don't want to do that. Hell, I don't want to make you sleep on the couch but I will if I must. So do us both a favor and keep whatever thought that was forming in your mind away from your typing fingers or your mouth and we'll be good.

Wow, again, more rambling. It must be the exhaustion that I'm facing right now. I mean I don't normally ramble do I? Of course I don't. Do I?

Ok, enough about my penchant to ramble in e-mails at three something in the morning. Time to get down to business as to why I am writing you at this ungodly hour when I know I need to be asleep. Yes I know that I already said that you're the reason behind it but I haven't written how you are the reason behind it. And before you even think it, yes there's a how and I need to tell you about it. Really I do because it's the reason I'm suffering from insomnia when I want to be sleeping. Well really I'd much rather be involved in other activities with you…but that's beside the point. You are not here to engage in said activities so I shouldn't even been thinking about them. And now that I've said that you've probably let your mind wander into the gutter haven't you? Well stop. I don't want your mind in the gutter if I can't be there too. Let it wander AFTER your home buddy and then we can talk ok?

God, what is up with me and rambling? I'm seriously doing so much of it in this email. It's really getting ridiculous isn't it? Again, that is another question you shouldn't answer unless you want to sleep on the couch when you return from..where are you at again? I know you told me earlier on the phone but in my state of exhaustion I can't seem to remember. I could go ask Mitchie seeing as she's staying here tonight but I don't want to go and interrupt the phone conversation she's STILL having with Shane.

Yes you read that right, she's still on the phone with him and he called her at ELEVEN meaning they have been on the phone for over FOUR hours. I mean I love you and all and we talk every night but is four hours necessary for a conversation? Apparently for Shane and Mitchie it is.

Can you hear him talking to her right now? Is he keeping you up? Should I go tell Mitchie to hang up the phone so you can get some sleep? Why am I asking these questions that you'll probably see tomorrow after the fact? Oh well, I'll blame the exhaustion when you ask me. But hell I should go make her hang up anyways because she should be the one sleeping.

And once again before you even think this; I love you and am concerned for your sleeping habits but Mitchie's my artist and she needs to be in the studio tomorrow and she's in the guest room right next door…easily reachable..you aren't so much. So really I should go tell her to hang up with Shane. Seriously they talk every night, how much could they have possibly missed in the span of twenty-four hours? Hmm…I'll be right back; I think I'm going to find out exactly why my best friend is on the phone with her boyfriend at this god awful hour when she needs to sleep and rest her voice. Stay right where you are (not that you'll go anywhere considering you aren't even reading this right now.)

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! NATE!!! I AM OFFICIALLY SCARRED FOR LIFE. AHHHH! Like seriously I want to SCRATCH MY EARS OUT WITH LARGE POINTY THINGS RIGHT NOW. DO you KNOW what I just heard?! (Of course you don't but I don't care. Unless…you DO KNOW and if so WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!)

Ok, calming down now, but not really, but I'm rambling on about something that has now left me SCARRED FOR LIFE. Why am I scarred for life? Because I SERIOUSLY think that I JUST heard Mitchie having PHONE SEX with Shane. EWWWWWWWW. *is currently shuddering uncontrollably*

Why do I think I heard this? Well my dear Nateykins (Like that Nate? I just thought of it today :P) like I said earlier in this e-mail I decided to go tell Mitchie to get off the phone and go to bed. But just as I was approaching the room she's pretty much dubbed as hers when she's over here I swear to god that I heard not so quiet MOANS coming from behind it. And no, they weren't those moans you hear when someone's eating a really good piece of chocolate or ice cream or something. I SWEAR they sounded like SEX moans. Honest to god SEX moans, coming from behind the door to the room that I LET her stay in. Mitchie is having PHONE SEX with Shane in our apartment in the guest room and just ewwwwww.

And once more, before you even have the nerve to ask .NO I DID NOT OPEN THE DOOR TO MAKE SURE. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. (As a matter of fact WHY would you even WANT ME to make sure. Your mind should be focused on ME when it comes to dirty thoughts NOT Mitchie. It had better be buddy or I swear that you will LOSE a certain appendage that we both like.) But once again, this is beside the point. The point is that now I know what the hell Shane and Mitchie do for FOUR FREAKING hours on the PHONE. They have not so quiet phone sex in places where other people can HEAR IT. GAHHHH I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE.

Natey (Another one I thought of today, can we tell that I was bored?) I am NEVER GOING to be able to go into that room again without thinking of Mitchie and Shane and PHONE SEX. *shudders uncontrollably once more* Seriously I know that you guys being on tour is a drag but PHONE SEX?! Are they that horny that they can't wait like the rest of us? Must they have PHONE SEX?! Ok it's not so much the phone sex part that's creeping me out. What's bothering me is that it was IN OUR APARTMENT. She seriously couldn't wait to get home and do that? I mean she and Shane have an apartment for a REASON.

Ok, ok, ok, I'm calming down now..for real…except no I'm not. I know that you are probably sitting there right now, eyes bugging out, reaching for your phone to call me at this very moment. I love you but please do not call...because the phone is now officially creeping me out. I know that you are also probably thinking that I'm crazy. (Which you knew from the start of this crazy relationship. Too late to back out now buddy.) Then there is also a part of you that is probably thinking that I am jumping to conclusions and am not thinking this clearly because it is after all, almost three in the morning. Let me tell you this: You may be right. For all I know I could be jumping to conclusions in my state of exhaustion but I really don't think I am.

I know, I know, it seems shocking that our sweet and innocent Mitchie would be doing THAT of all things with Shane but really would it shock you? I know it wouldn't me because she tells me things about their sex life and…well…yes let's leave it at that. I don't want you to have to burn your eyes out of your sockets. Again, I really think I'm right here. I heard it with my own two ears. Those were moans, not in her sleep dreaming of Shane moans, but actual moans. You know like the kind you get out of me when you do that thing with….ok I'm shutting up now. For real. I do not want my mind to go in the gutter because of Mitchie and Shane and their..escapades. And I certainly do NOT want to get all hot and bothered thinking about the things you do to me when you aren't here to do anything about it. And NO I WILL NOT HAVE PHONE SEX WITH YOU. Don't even think about it buddy. (I know you already are but STOP. I AM NOT DOING IT. Period. End of Story.)

Ok. Seriously, I'm going to shut up about this now. The more I think about, the more creeped out I'm going to get. Moving onto a new topic…seriously. I promise Nate. No more talk of what I just rambled on about for…a very long time. Seriously, what is it with me and rambling tonight? Granted, that last topic called for rambling considering it's now burned into my brain for all eternity…*shudders*. Nate when you FINALLY get home you need to try and help me rid my mind of that memory…pleeease? Promise me you'll try? I don't care how you do it just try.*is pouting again*

Ok, I'm now moving onto a new topic. Perhaps I'll actually tell you why I wrote this email to you now. I mean aside from the fact that I can't sleep and now won't be able to because of recent events…Ok definitely moving on now. Promise.

So..why I wrote this email at this insane hour of the morning to you. Well it's simple really. I, Caitlyn Gellar, have officially decided that I hate you Nate Thompson. (Except not really and you'd better realize that.)

Now at this moment I'm sure your mind is reeling from this information but I do. I hate you because you're the reason I'm up right now. You're the reason that I can't sleep right now. Want to know why? Because I freaking love you Nate. And I really hate you for making me fall in love with you. Seriously why did you have to come up to me after Final Jam and start talking to me? Why did you have to be so nice and cute and just amazing? Why did you have to be a gentlemen and walk me back to my cabin? Why did you have to help me spy on Mitchie and Shane along the way? Just why did you make me fall for you?

I honestly wasn't planning on you. Nope, didn't plan on getting a boyfriend that oh so fateful summer. (I say fateful because seriously it fits. I mean Shane comes back to Camp; Mitchie goes there for the first time. She's turns into his girl with voice…yeah..that's fate right there. Tell me it's not, go ahead and argue with me. :P) I was an innocent bystander in all of that summer. All I did was show up to Camp for another summer of music and then bam! I meet Mitchie and we become best friends and she consequently falls for one of your best friends. I was really ok with that, and helping her find her voice. I was content to be alone while she got to be happy and with Shane. Really I was but nooooo you just had to go and walk into my life. (Jerk, except not really again.)

Hmmm I wonder if walked into my life are the right words to say? I think they are. I mean because really you did just walk into my life after the Jam Session. You, Shane, and Jason had just finished up doing all the press that came with Final Jam and then Shane dragged Mitchie off to the lake and Jason went in search of birds with Ella. But you were left alone, in fact you just waited until everyone had left and there was just you and I left on the stage. I'd stayed after to clean my equipment up and wasn't really paying any attention to anything except that and then you just walked right up to me. At first you scared me because I thought that everyone had left. (Seriously I thought you were a creeper at first because I hadn't been looking at you.) But then you knelt down beside me and asked if you could help me tear down my stuff.

At first I was stunned because hardly anyone had ever asked to help me do that stuff before, though I'm sure Mitchie would have if Shane hadn't dragged her off, and then I thought you were crazy. Seriously, people around Camp Rock knew that I didn't like people touching my laptop or anything else because well..you know as well as anyone else..I'm ocd like that. But you, dear Nathanial, didn't even wait for me to say no to you. You just asked and then went about touching my stuff and helping me. I was so shocked that I couldn't even say anything to you at first and even when I did it wasn't to not touch and get away.

Nooo, instead of doing that, I just had to go and start a conversation that you just readily participated in. I didn't expect to actually like talking to you, to have so many things in common with you, to get along with you. No that I never expected in a million years because I was well, me, a plain old seventeen year old girl, and you were a freaking Rock Star. What could the two of us possibly have had in common at the time? Well apparently according to the both of us and what we talked about, a lot.

Do you remember that Nate? The conversation we have about anything and everything. Where we found out that we were both seventeen? Where we discovered how much we both loved the music of the Beatles together? Do you remember that first conversation as we were putting my equipment away? I know I do because believe it or not it's what made me start to really like you. I liked that we had so much in common, that we could talk so comfortably, but most of all I liked how you handled my production equipment.

Yes I know I'm crazy but seriously, you have no idea how well shocking it was to see how you handled it. You were so careful with each piece that you took, treating it with respect (which again, I know sounds crazy but you did) it was just nice. So nice in fact that I willingly let you offer to help me carry it back to my cabin. In fact, you managed to wrestle it all away from me and carry it yourself as we walked and talked and talked.

Do you remember that walk like I do? The one where we seemed to go extra slow, you said it was because it was a nice night, but now I think that it's because you really just wanted to spend time with me. Was that the reason? It's ok if it was because I wanted to spend time with you too. Do you remember when we stumbled upon Mitchie and Shane in their canoe and I decided that I wanted to spy on them? I didn't actually think you'd want to help me do it. But you did, being the gentlemen you are. You and I hid behind a bunch of bushes and watched them. But then you and I kind of lost track of them in the lake and focused on each other. I remember when you put all my production stuff on the ground and then just laid down next to it. You pulled me down next to you and then we just lay on the ground and talked more.

I don't think you know the exact effect you had on me that night. You really don't. By the time we finally made it back to my cabin my mind was spinning and my heart was fluttering. For you. My heart had never fluttered for anyone before you and all of a sudden it started doing it when I was around you. In fact my heart hasn't ever really stopped fluttering since that day. And I blame you for it. I really do because I hadn't planned on you when I went to Camp Rock that summer. I hadn't planned to gain you as a friend, hadn't planned on getting a crush on you, and I most certainly didn't plan on you getting a crush on me.

Yet somehow we got crushes on each other and somehow you convinced me to give you my number so we could talk. And we certainly did talk didn't we? I'm honestly not sure who was worse, Shane and Mitchie or You and I. I honestly think it was you and I which was weird because we weren't even together at the time. We were just friends for a good couple months. I would talk to you every day; you would tell me about the new album and sound, I would gripe about my day at school. I never ever expected you to actually offer to fly me out to LA to work on the album (Which I still love you for by the way) and I certainly never expected that trip to end up with you as my boyfriend.

But you did. Remember that day? I'd been in LA for a week and already your producer wanted me to stay and help him with the rest of your album and then he wanted me to co-produce Mitchie's debut album with him. I remember being so excited and running into the studio to tell you and everyone else. But you were the first one on my mind of course, though you didn't know it at the time. Remember when I threw my arms around you and you practically spun me around when I told you the good news? I remember when you whispered in my ear during that tight hug, asking me out on a date that very night. To say I was shocked would be an understatement but I said yes all the same. After all, I liked you Nate, really liked you, and you wanted to go out with me. How could I resist an opportunity like that?

So we went out that night and I can safely tell you that you took me on the most perfect first date of my entire dating career. You took me out for dinner and then we went for a walk on the beach. It was magical. (Ugh I sound like Mitchie now don't I?) I know its clichéd and while I'm really not all that into romance you seem to bring out the girly girl in me. I loved that date; I loved walking and talking on the beach. But most of all I loved kissing you on that beach, under the stars, with the waves brushing at my toes. Magical is the only way to describe that night and incredible is the only way to describe our kiss. Seriously, you blew my mind and made me tingle all over. You still make me tingle all over, but that's beside the point.

Or is it? I mean that date really started this entire relationship that we've been on didn't it? I mean who would've thought that four years later we'd still be going as strong as we are? I certainly didn't know if we would be. But I couldn't be happier about it. I couldn't be happier that I love you, that we live together. I'm happy with us. But I still hate you. (Again, not really.)

I hate the fact that because you made me fall in love with you I can't sleep without you beside me. I hate that when you go on tour like you are now you take my freaking heart with you. I hate that you make me think about the future you know I now want because of you. The future that involves us, married, white picket fence, and with the four kids you keep telling me we're having. (Yeah..not so much. I am not having four children Nate. My limit is three. You want a fourth one you can have it yourself ok?)

I mean, I always wanted that future but now I want it even more because of you. I want to be your wife sooner than later, I want to have your/our children one day. Want to know why? Because I freaking love you idiot. I love you so much that it hurts and I hate you for it sometimes because I never expected this. I never expected to find a love that made me feel like yours does. That makes my heart swell whenever I think about you, (which is quite often) that makes my head spin whenever we kiss, (again happens often) or to find someone that treats me the way you do. You love me yet you give me space when I need it, but you don't let me huddle into myself when I have a problem. You are amazing Nathanial Thompson and god I feel so lucky to have you and to call you mine.

Wow, was that the cheesiest thing you've ever read? Probably. There's a reason to hate you, you've turned me into a cheese puff. But I mean every word of it. I hate you, but not really. I love you more than freaking life itself. And you're not here right now; you're away on tour, away from me and I MISS you. I miss sleeping beside you, with you, cuddling into you. I miss your chest as my pillow. Oh and I miss your body heat. I've seriously been cold for the past three months. You'll be fixing that when you get home in two weeks, one day, thirteen hours, and some outrageous amount of minutes got it?

God am I pathetic or what? Maybe but whatever. I'm not ashamed to say that I miss you like hell on earth. Not ashamed to say that I can't sleep because you're not here sleeping with me right now. I really actually want to call you but I know you're sleeping so I'll wait until tomorrow morning. Or rather, later this morning because it's oh my god it's almost five in the morning? I've seriously been writing this thing for almost two hours? God, I am pathetic. But I'm pathetically in love with you. I think I might try and sleep now. Maybe. I don't know. It depends on if it decides to claim me or not. But I promise I'll try because I know you'll read this, call me, and then lecture me. Or maybe..you'll call me later and sing me to sleep? I'd like that…just saying..*wink wink*

Ok I'm seriously ending this thing now. One of the longest emails I've ever written but so worth it. And you'd better appreciate it. I meant everything I wrote Nate. I love you with every single piece of my musical producing heart and I miss you more than you will ever know. Call me later? Or I'll call you? As long as we talk I'll brave my newfound fear of telephones for you.

All my love, forever and always,

~Caitlyn

P.S.- Do you like all the new nicknames I came up with? I'm thinking of a new one for you, pick one.

P.P.S.-I plan on drowning you in kisses or I'm going to jump you when you get home. One of the two…maybe a combination of both. Be prepared.

XXXXXXXXXX

**And there we have it..the end. I think. If you guys like it I might post Nate's response. So please leave me feedback! **


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